People living in a big city use transportation everyday to go to work, school and so on. Thanks to the development of modern transportation system, areas that we are able to reach have been so much expanded. There are about 3 types of transportation that help people move around in cities – Bus and Metro, Taxi and automobile. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages.
The most frequently used transportation here in cities is buses and metro thanks to its relatively cheap fares. It helps people arrive at destinations on time. Because there is no traffic jam on metro and buses – bus has its own driveway -, there is less possibility of being late. However, taking buses and metro brings people a lot of stress. Because there are too many people in there, it's easy to be pushed around in a crowded space. I'm the one who uses metro everyday to get to school. I don't like taking metro because it's terrible standing in the middle of crowded metro! Sometimes someone steps on my foot and pushes me. What's more, it's hard to breathe when surrounded by tall people because I'm short!
Another type of transportation is a taxi. Taking a taxi is very convenient. We can go almost everywhere even though we don't know how to get there thanks to a taxi driver. In addition, it's very fast and comfortable. There is only 'me' in a taxi so I don't need to struggle the crowdedness. Despite these advantages, I hesitate to take a taxi because of its expensive fare. When I was in hurry for school, I took a taxi to save my time. Unfortunately it was a rush-hour, I got stuck at traffic jam. Not only I was late for school but also I spent much money to pay its expensive fare.
Lastly, there is 'an automobile'. Although it's only for people who posses his own car, it is the most convenient transportation. We can go anywhere we want and we can take a break anytime we want. However, there is a big trouble in riding a car – 'traffic jam'. People who drive their own cars usually get stressed often because they spend a long time on the road being stuck in a traffic jam. There are too many cars in cities. In addition, car owners need to spend a lot of money on their cars because of high oil prices and costs for the maintenance. My father always gets stressed when he heard some news about rising oil prices. It is really costly to keep a car.
There are a variety of transportations in cities – bus, metro, taxi and private car. We can choose what to take considering their good and bad aspects. As for me, I usually take a bus and metro because I'm a student who doesn't have enough money. Although it's very stressful taking public transportation every day, this is the only way for me to get to school.
I totally agree with you, i can even picture that like being stepped by other people. It was good to use your own story to strengthen your writing. And you explained each transportation by its advantages and disadvantages, it was easy to compare them.
ReplyDeleteIt would nice better if you used figures to explain fares or compared fares in figures between taxis and buses to tell buses are cheaper and taxis are much expensive. to understand if you explained how the areas are expanded giving examples in the first paragraph
Seung Ah Lee
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your writing because i noticed good structure of the ideas and they are well categorized. Plus, you had your honest feelings and emotions in the essay.
In the first line, you wrote '...to go to work, school and so on' but i believe it is better to avoid such expressions like 'so on' or 'etc.'
Another thing i want to point out is that you seem to have used 'thanks to' quite many times so maybe you can replace some of them with other phrases like 'due to' or 'because of' and etc.
In the third body paragraph in the first line, i don't kno why you used quotation marks for an automobile, were you trying to impose different meaning or something? just wondering...;)
good writing! good job :)
REVISION
ReplyDeletePeople living in a big city use transportation every day to go to work and school. Thanks to the development of modern transportation system, areas that we are able to reach have been so much expanded. Now we can travel around the whole country within just a day! There are about 3 types of transportation that help people move around in cities – Bus and Metro, Taxi and automobile. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages.
The most frequently used transportation here in cities is buses and metro because of its relatively cheap fares. It helps people arrive at destinations on time. Because there is no traffic jam on metro and buses – bus has its own driveway -, there is less possibility of being late if we take bus or metro. However, taking buses and metro brings people a lot of stress. Because there are too many people in there, it's easy to be pushed around in a crowded space. I'm the one who uses metro every day to get to school. I don't like taking metro because it's terrible standing in the middle of crowded metro! Sometimes someone steps on my foot and pushes me. What's more, it's hard to breathe when surrounded by tall people because I'm short.
Another type of transportation is a taxi. Taking a taxi is very convenient. We can go almost everywhere even though we don't know how to get there thanks to a taxi driver. In addition, it's very fast and comfortable. There is only myself in a taxi so I don't need to struggle the crowdedness. Despite these advantages, I hesitate to take a taxi because of its expensive fare. A basic charge is almost 2 or 3 times of bus and metro fare. From that point, fare gets increasing as riding time passes. When I was in hurry for school, I took a taxi to save my time. Unfortunately it was a rush-hour, I got stuck at traffic jam. Not only I was late for school but also I spent much money to pay its expensive fare.
Lastly, there is an automobile. Although it's only for people who possess his own car, it is the most convenient transportation. We can go anywhere we want and we can take a break anytime we want. However, there is a big trouble in riding a car – traffic jam. People who drive their own cars usually get stressed often because they spend quite a long time on the road being stuck in a traffic jam. As we know, there are too many cars in cities. In addition, car owners need to spend a lot of money on their cars because of high oil prices and costs for the maintenance. My father always gets stressed when he heard some news about rising oil prices. It is really costly to keep a car.
There are a variety of transportations in cities – bus, metro, taxi and private car. We can choose what to take considering their good and bad aspects. As for me, I usually take a bus and metro because I'm a student who doesn't have enough money. Although it's very stressful taking public transportation every day, this is the only way for me to get to school anyway.