| Jimin Baik/ 7th Assignment/Finding out the identity of adopted children's birth parents /Thursday 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Find out Birth Parents' Identity, Find out My Own Identity
In America, adopting is a very common culture. Enormous number of children are being adopted in America each year. So, it's very natural that there has been a lot of controversy about finding out the identity of adopted children's birth parents. While some people oppose to finding it out, finding out the identity of adopted children's birth parents is a good idea, since it lets adopted children to know their own identity, to have whole parents, and to understand the reason why their birth parents could not raise them.
By knowing about their birth parents, adopted children can also know better about their identity. If the adopted children don't know where they are from, it gives them so much confusion. For instance, think about a Korean kid who was adopted in an American family. Growing up, he will notice that his own hair color and eye color are different from those of his families and friends. He is very likely to feel being alienated from others. But if he knows why his appearance is different from those of his families and friends by knowing the identity of his birth parents, he will feel less complex.
Some people say finding the identity of birth parents causes confusion because adopted children can feel disoriented between two parents, not deciding which of them is their real parents. On the contrary to this belief, children are very likely to feel positive emotions if they choose to accept both parents as their real parents. Usually, people have a mother and a father. But adopted children have two mothers and two fathers, one who gave them birth, and another who raised them. If they don't know their birth parents, they only have half-parents. It's better knowing both who gave them birth and who raised them, just like normal people. Nobody can let them down by prohibiting their right to fine their whole parents, just because their parents are two pairs, separated into half.
Last but not least, they can feel more relaxed by understanding the reason why their birth parents could not raise them. Being raised by other parents, adopted children could feel like that they were wasted by their birth parents. But, by knowing about their birth parents and maybe talking with each other, they might understand their birth parents and feel less lonely.
To sum up, finding out the birth parents' identity has a positive effect on adopted children's emotion because: first, they become aware of their identity; also, they can have whole parents; lastly, they could understand the reason their birth parents decided to make them be adopted. Surely this is a very sensitive question to answer, but overall, knowing is a lot better than not knowing.
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Monday, May 7, 2012
Jimin Baik/ 7th Assignment/Finding out the identity of adopted children’s birth parents /Thursday 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.
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I enjoyed your writing! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is clear with your points but I think the last sentence is too long. I think it's better to divide into two sentences and change like 'While some people oppose to it, I think it is a good idea. By finding their birth parents, adopted children are able to know their own identity, have whole parents, and understand the reason ~ raise them.'
In the first body paragraph, I think it would be better to change 'it gives them so much confusion' into 'they will get confused.'
I like that you made concession in the second body paragraph and expressed your opinions in the next by saying 'on the contrary to this belief.'
The third body paragraph is good enough but I think it would be much better if you put more details.
Throughout the writing, I like the words 'feel alienated', 'disoriented', and 'positive emotion.'
I just wish you emphasize your argument stronger by putting your own opinions and words'I strongly think' or 'I believe' or 'In my opinion'.
Considering that this was a timed writing and even first draft, I think you did a very good job. Your writing is well organized and neat and your point is clear enough.
Jimin Baik/ Second Draft of 7th Assignment/Finding out the identity of adopted children’s birth parents /Thursday 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.
ReplyDeleteFind out Birth Parents’ Identity, Find out My Own Identity
In America, adopting is a very common culture. Enormous number of children is being adopted in America each year. So, it’s very natural that there has been a lot of controversy about finding out the identity of adopted children’s birth parents. While some people oppose to finding it out, finding out the identity of adopted children’s birth parents is a good idea. That’s because it lets adopted children to know their own identity, to have whole parents, and to understand the reason why their birth parents could not raise them.
By knowing about their birth parents, adopted children can also know better about their identity. If the adopted children don’t know where they are from, they will get confused. For instance, think about a Korean kid who was adopted in an American family. Growing up, he will notice that his own hair color and eye color are different from those of his families and friends. He is very likely to feel being alienated from others. But if he knows why his appearance is different from those of his families and friends by knowing the identity of his birth parents, he will feel less complex.
Some people say finding the identity of birth parents causes confusion because adopted children can feel disoriented between two parents, not deciding which of them is their real parents. On the contrary to this belief, children are very likely to feel positive emotions if they choose to accept both parents as their real parents. Usually, people have a mother and a father. But adopted children have two mothers and two fathers, one who gave them birth, and another who raised them. If they don’t know their birth parents, it’s like they only have half-parents. It’s better knowing both who gave them birth and who raised them, just like normal people. Nobody can let them down by prohibiting their right to find their whole parents, just because their parents are two pairs, separated into half.
Last but not least, they can feel more relaxed by understanding the reason why their birth parents could not raise them. Being raised by other parents, adopted children could feel like that they were wasted by their birth parents. But, by knowing about their birth parents and, if possible, talking with each other, they might understand their birth parents and feel less lonely. For example, kids who were raised by another family might wonder why they were not raised by their own parents. They could even think that they were thrown away because their birth parents didn’t love them. But by knowing their birth parents’ identity and their economic instability, they would understand the reason why their birth parents’ couldn’t raise them. Understanding the reason of their adoption is a very important factor in establishing bright personality.
To sum up, finding out the birth parents’ identity has a positive effect on adopted children’s emotion because: first, they become aware of their identity; also, they can have whole parents; lastly, they could understand the reason their birth parents decided to make them be adopted. This has been a very sensitive question to answer, and there are so many controversies on this issue as I mentioned above. But overall, I strongly believe that knowing is a lot better than not knowing.