We, students, are tired of studying for whole semester. Papers, Exams, Quizes are bullying us. We need time to be refreshed.
So students always expect vacation. Spending time far away from routine life vigors us and gives us special memories.
There are only options for my vacation. Doing my own work, Meeting old friends, Going yearly family trip.
The first one, Doing my own work, account for more than 80 percent of my vacation. I'm a pre-Entomologist but I'm not majoring in Entomology.
So, I spend my vacation studying it all day. Not only just sitting down in front of desk and reading papers like "Taxonomic Review of...."
but also going outside and studying in the nature. For example, I went Jeju island for a month in summer vacation of 2009. I found some wild insects I'm interested in, take pictures of them.
This is the most important option of my vacation.
The second priority of my vacation is meeting my old friends. The favorite friends of mine are high school classmates.
We do not have to meet in vacation few years ago. However, things have changed. All of them became busier as time roll on.
Just like me, they are all college students, except some serving military duty. We don't have enough time to get along with each other in the semester.
So I and my friends need special time to gather in vacation.
My family goes family trip every year. This is the third one of my vacation. Just as my friends, my family members are busy too.
My parents work for a company, my younger sister is college student, and my younger brother is studying abroad. So our yearly family trip is almost the only way chance for one week long family gathering.
We usually go to mountain or valley rather than beach. Our family trip have given us tremendous special memories and this is and will be the important vacation planning option for our family.
So in short, my vacation options are to spend time for my own work, to get along with friends, to go somewhere with my family. These are all important to me for happy and meaningful vacation.
As this semester is almost end, I am looking forward to enjoy my vacation with those things.
I TOTALLY agree with what you're saying!! Homeworks, presentations, Papers and exams are nearly killing me so that I can't spend a time doing other refreshing things!! Like you, I'm really looking forward to spend my vacation and be refreshed. :D
ReplyDeleteAlso, the structure is very well-organized.
Your main point seems to be "3 options for your refreshing vacation".
Everyting was clear to me, except one sentence that goes, "There are only options for my vacation." I think you wanted to write "three" instead of "only", if I'm right.
If I could point some grammatical errors for your better second draft, here are some recommendations:
It will be better if you change "I found some wild insects I'm interested in, take pictures of them." to "I found some wild insects I'm interested in, and took pictures of them."
In the same reason, it will be great if you can change "We do not have to meet in vacation few years ago." to "We did not have to meet in vacation few years ago."
Also, it's great to change "So I and my friends need special time to gather in vacation." to "So my friends and I need special time to gather in vacation."
Overall, it is a very convincing essay to me!! I really enjoyed your essay!!!
I like that you wrote about something new for me, entomology, but I suppose that you could explain to us more details about entomology with more expressions, so we can get to know about it.
ReplyDeleteEach of your body paragraphs describes a different subject. It's quite good though you have some grammatical problems like Jimin posted above.
But the conclusion paragraph seems quite weak to me. You could have included some future expectations as a entomologist or about your friends and family trip. If not, you could have given an advice about how to enjoy vacations more.