Many people have been under stress much for many reasons, like financial, interpersonal and mental problems. Sometimes it makes our life too hard to overcome the stress. Though we understand that have no stress in life cannot be possible, we want to get rid of it. Before this, however, we have to know what makes us be in stress. Among the many causes of them, it can be classified into three main part, divided by time.
First, it is caused by 'concerns of the future'. Nobody can foresee the future, then people always have anxieties to it. Under unexpectable conditions, we often think of a failure and it makes us exhausted. And it has occurred especially in the group of students, since they have no confidence about their life.
Next one is 'dissatisfactions for the present'. Human had evolved into having unlimited greeds and desires. Due to our instinct, we always are dissatisfied with our conditions and want to have more. However, in most situations we had, it cannot be. This gap between ideal and reality makes discontent, and it become a cause of stress.
The last one is 'regrets for the past'. We often think about our passed time, and regret what we did. The question, usually started 'If I were...', is same as the answer 'Why I didn`t do that?'. Despite an learning by experience that it just an unnecessary anxiety and we cannot change the past, we always spend lots of time to worry about this.
Like this, factors causing the stress can categorize into 3 parts by the time. Among them, we can forget regrets to the past if we change our mind optimistically. By understanding what makes stress and reducing them, we can see our life through a good view, and finally, overcome all worries we had.
I think your idea is quite interesting that you classified the causes of stress by 'time' standard. But you should clearly express 'the thesis statement'. "it can be classified into three main part, divided by time." Not only its meaning is not clear, but also it's not sufficient for the thesis statement, I think. It would be better if you write specific 'three main parts'.
ReplyDeleteI like this sentence "this gap between ideal and reality makes discontent" becuase it tells the point well. But the sentence "The question, usually started 'If I were...', is same as the answer 'Why I didn`t do that?'" is not clear to me.
I love how you explained the causes of stress in three parts of past, present and future! I think this comprehensively contained every stress we have.
ReplyDeleteYour writing was relevant to the topic, and also the coherence was nice. Your lexicons were all natural.
If there is a minor grammatical mistake I can point out, first, in the sentence you wrote "Like this, factors causing the stress can categorize into 3 parts by the time," it can be more natural if you use passive, like this: "Like this, factors causing the stress can be categorized into 3 parts by the time."
Overall, for me, your writing was well organized and clear to understand! Good job!!