Happiness has long been studied by numerous groups of people since the oldest time of human history. Ancient Greek philosophers had debated for several centuries to define the meaning and content of happiness, and they finally were driven to consensus that happiness puts prior values on spiritual and religious matters, rather than material and physical fulfillment. This tradition has lasted until the emergence of modern philosophy which refused to confine the content of happiness to mental and ideal sphere and tried to extend it to more comprehensive and broader boundaries. Despite all their devotion to reaching true happiness, people are still seeking for it even today.
Today, many people pursue different kinds of happiness, in the name of ‘desire’. Their desires include manifold values, such as fortune, status, fame, and love. Some of them might believe that they can reach happiness by satisfying these desires. However, we have seen many historical evidences that even a great emperor, honorable hero or billionaire failed to gain permanent happiness, although they possessed what they coveted for. Not only those evidences, but we often find ourselves feel happiness at the moment when we gained something, but soon, desiring for other things which we haven’t possessed yet. These ideas indicate that happiness cannot be realized simply by meeting one’s satisfaction. Then the question, how to live happy, will come up to our mind. I believe there’s three major ways to live happy, even without meeting our never-ending desires.
First, live a busy life. Some might say busy and hectic schedule can cause stress which disturbs one from being happy. This is true in part. However, it is fully depend on person who manages his tight schedule. Living busy makes person enthusiastic, not letting him to feel bored of his life. Moreover, it teaches him that even a short period of break can be precious, which can be traded for nothing.
Second, work on the job which you can enjoy most. This is partially related to the previously mentioned idea on first paragraph. You would not feel exhausted although you have spent your most of time on heavy workload if you are working on what you like to do.
Third, always keep your families and friends behind you. Whenever you face difficulties and hard times, you will realize the importance of your permanent supporters. These people can help you regardless of your situations. By these methods, you will notice that happiness exists much closer than you have thought.
Before I begin, I want to say that I enjoyed your writing!
ReplyDeleteI see you organized your writing little differently. But I think it’s not bad. In fact, I think it’s good. First, I think the introduction is interesting and it was smooth to read from the first paragraph to the second paragraph, mentioning from past to present. Also, I like that you showed historical evidences about great emperor and connect those with ourselves today.
However, the words ‘consensus’, ‘confine’, ‘manifold’, and ‘coveted’ were quite difficult to understand before I looked on a dictionary. And it would be better if you put more details on the third, fourth, and fifth paragraphs. I think these 3 paragraphs are too much shorter than the top 2 paragraphs. Also, I just wish there was a conclusion that restates your points. Maybe you can write only 2 causes of happiness and put conclusion in the end.
Wow, your introduction contains much information! I really enjoyed reading your essay. I could see you thoroughly researched about the topic before writing this essay.
ReplyDeleteYour main point seems to be "To be happy, live busy, enjoy your work, and make supporters."
I also love how you put the word like 'coveted', because it describes very well what you mean.
Everything was clear to me.
If there are two points I can point out, first, for me it seems like there are 2 paragraphs for the introduction. Although I loved such full background information on your introduction, it would be better if you condense your introduction in one paragraph and put the conclusion at the end.
Also, although the last three paragraphs are your body paragraphs, for me it seems like they contain less information than the introduction. Maybe that's because you focused very much on your introduction.
I hope my comments would be helpful for you in writing your second draft. Overall, I really enjoyed your writing! Nice job!!
From Nam Alexander to Cho, Hyun
ReplyDeleteIt is good written!!! I liked it much!
I liked the whole part of the essay. Especially I liked the introduction, which is full of great background.
This looks very good because of strong and interesting points.
I do not have any words to be replaced.
Everything is clear and understandable
Everything is ok, but I could not find the conclusion.
I enjoyed reading.