| Downloading and Sharing Music Off The Internet Is it really wrong to download and share music off the internet? It may be illegal, but I think it is not wrong. I believe that it is inevitable these days. In Korea many people download music in Melon or Mnet - online music services where you can listen and download music after paying flat rates-, but still there are a lot of people getting music for free from other websites.
I believe it is because of people's way of thinking that make people download music for free. Most people think this way. 'Why bother paying more money on music, when you can get music for free or by paying less money?' Even I do think like that. We don't want to pay more money than other people. We want to pay same amount or pay less. We all have this mentality that we don't want to waste our money.
Also there are a lot of websites where you can get free music. They share their music and distribute them for free. This is the situation we have. We do not have to buy the music because other people just give it away. Nowadays it takes little time to make application for smartphones where you can listen and download music. You can get music from anywhere. It is really getting hard to resist this free music. And there is a raise in music market that makes not to use legal fare paying service.
These days, there is an attempt to increase the fee of digital sound source to develop the music market and to protect the creator. This is worsening the problem. They are encouraging us to download illegally or share with other people. They left us no choice but to do illegal things. Even about 60% of people who download music legally say that the fare is a little bit expensive. So what if they raise the fare? Then even the regular downloader would not pay anymore and turn their backs and get music for free from other websites. Additionally there will be more black markets where you can have music without paying any money.
In conclusion, the situation should change into fair situation for all people including users, creator people in sound source market. Even though we all know that it is not right to get music and distribute to other for free, the current situation is unavoidable. So not only should people change their thoughts to pay certain amount of money for the creator, but also should the music market be reasonable for people downloading music. |
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Dasom Yoo/ downloading music/Thur34
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I enjoyed your writing! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I like the word 'inevitable' and 'unavoidable.' I think those are descriptive and powerful.
Also, I think the first and second body paragraphs are kind of related because both of them states that people think of downloading music for free because those websites, where they can do it, exist. So I just think maybe you can seperate these two paragraphs clearly.
Moreover, how about changing 'This is the situation we have' into 'This is the situation we are in'? in the second body paragraph?
Overall, I see that your writing is well organized. But I'm confused about your point. It seems like you agree with downloading music for free but I'm not sure. Since this is an argumantative essay, I wish you make your opinion more explicit.
Your writing has interrelated paragraphs, and the conclusion is also connected to what you tried to say. However, I believe that the 4th paragraph is a bit less connected to the paragraphs you wrote before it. I think it's because the first sentence of the paragraph, so you may need to use a cohesion to make it better.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I liked your idea. thank you!