Do you know when Wednesday that comes on this 2nd week of April is? If
you have ever watched news or articles with little attention over the
past few months, I'm sure you know when it is. Yes, it is Korea's 19th
Assembly Election Day. Every Korean nation has right to vote, which is
guaranteed by the Constitution. And today's democracy is sustained by
the Representative Democracy, which indicates representatives of the
nation, elected by their supporters, discuss and engage in political
activities, on the behalf of general nations' will. The meaning of it
is extremely more significant than word itself because laws and
policies enacted by the lawmakers, identical to congressmen, will
influence tremendous impact on nation's real life. These three
manifest facts would strike you with one definite idea in your mind.
Yes, Vote!
However, in contrast to what I urged you to do in the first paragraph,
you can run for your own office, becoming a candidate who desperately
wishes to be chosen by your nations. Since congressman acquires
countless privileges and benefits, it is worth working hard to be
elected to the National Assembly. And even the steps for becoming
senator look substantially simple (but that doesn't mean it is easy to
be senator).
First of all, to be a congressman, you need to register for
parliamentary election. You might think this job can be conducted just
with one mouse click on the website or a short letter written as "I
would like to run for National Assembly this time." However, the cost
required for merely registering the election reaches 15 thousand U.S
dollars. It does not guarantee you that you are able to be congressman
and not even improve the chance of becoming it. So we can judge this
process as the most risky, and costly procedure of running your own
office.
Second, you should initiate the election campaign in active manner, as
to assemble loyal supporters who will finally vote on your name on the
polling day. Many politicians and candidates struggle with criticism
of media and rival parties because they often commit mistakes during
this campaign period, especially bribing and violating electoral laws.
Both attractive election pledge and considerable attention is required
during the campaign.
Lastly, people will vote and the vote counting will be followed. The
most nail biting and thrilling moment of one's life. This suffocating
ballot counting often lasts until late night, keeping torturing the
candidates. The results of the vote will be announced on live
television before whole Korean nations and the reactions will be mixed
consequently.
You fit the most of the deitor's checklist pg 58. You have five paragraphs and also have sequence connectors like first second lastly. But i thing your writing is more about how to become a congressman rather than a candidate. And i think second paragraph has the thesis statement and your introduction doesn't quite fit the thesis statement.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your essay and you made very great hook by refering 4.11 election which is a political hot potato now in Korean sociery. Also I liked you pur some witty joking like this sentence; You might think this job can be conducted just
ReplyDeletewith one mouse click on the website or a short letter written as "I would like to run for National Assembly this time." But I think you didn't need to write two paragraphs of introduction, but rather need a conclusion part. In that way, it wiil be more clear to read.
Do you know when Wednesday that comes on this 2nd week of April is? If you have ever watched news or articles with little attention over the past few months, I’m sure you know when it is. Yes, it is Korea’s 19th Assembly Election Day. Every Korean nation has right to vote, which is guaranteed by the Constitution. And today’s democracy is sustained by the Representative Democracy, which indicates representatives of the nation, elected by their supporters, discuss and engage in political activities, on the behalf of general nations’ will. The meaning of it is extremely more significant than word itself because laws and policies enacted by the lawmakers, identical to congressmen, will
ReplyDeleteinfluence tremendous impact on nation’s real life. These three
manifest facts would strike you with one definite idea in your mind.
Yes, Vote!
However, in contrast to what I urged you to do in the first paragraph,
you can run for your own office, becoming a candidate who desperately
wishes to be chosen by your nations. Since congressman acquires
countless privileges and benefits, it is worth working hard to be
elected to the National Assembly. And even the steps for becoming
senator look substantially simple (but that doesn’t mean it is easy to
be senator).
First of all, to be a congressman, you need to register for
parliamentary election. You might think this job can be conducted just
with one mouse click on the website or a short letter written as “I
would like to run for National Assembly this time.” However, the cost
required for merely registering the election reaches 15 thousand U.S
dollars. It does not guarantee you that you are able to be congressman
and not even improve the chance of becoming it. So we can judge this
process as the most risky, and costly procedure of running your own
office.
Second, you should initiate the election campaign in active manner, as
to assemble loyal supporters who will finally vote on your name on the
polling day. Many politicians and candidates struggle with criticism
of media and rival parties because they often commit mistakes during
this campaign period, especially bribing and violating electoral laws.
Both attractive election pledge and considerable attention is required
during the campaign.
Lastly, people will vote and the vote counting will be followed. The
most nail biting and thrilling moment of one’s life. This suffocating
ballot counting often lasts until late night, keeping torturing the
candidates. The results of the vote will be announced on live
television before whole Korean nations and the reactions will be mixed consequently.
As it is mentioned, the process of running for national assembly might look simple but it is far more complicated and challenging work. I believe people who are engaged in competition must have been suffering since they decided to stand for the election. This coming Wednesday, I hope voters of this country exercise their rights, which has their corresponding obligations. It is quite obvious that people who are unfaithful to their duties does not deserve the rights neither.